Academia has always been a stale environment for me. Abstract, cold, and sterile. The real shit happens outside of the classroom, and for that reason I was too impatient to graduate from college. I’m a firm believer in not needing a piece of paper to succeed in a career, but there’s no denying that there are lost opportunities without it.

Remember the SAT? Me neither. But I’m applying to UNC to finish my undergraduate degree in Computer Science, so I’m forced to remember it.

When I took the SAT in high school, in 1996, there were only two sections: critical reading and math. As of 2005, there’s a writing section, and UNC requires that sophomore applicants take the SAT with writing. This morning, at age 28, I signed up to take the SAT for the second time.

(I inadvertently signed up to take the test in June when I’ll be in Chicago, 800 miles from home. Now I have to call CollegeBoard to change the date to May, one month sooner and two months away! Enough time to prepare?)

On Saturday, I purchased the unwieldy Kaplan SAT 2008 Premier Program (pictured above). It’s one of the biggest books I own. What I lack in mental acuity I’ll make up in physical agility just by lugging the thing around. Depending on the outcome, maybe I’ll send UNC my BMI instead of my SAT results.