August 2, 2005
Dumb & Dumber (2005)
On the flight to Mumbai, I asked the man to my left if he knew of hotels by the airport. He listed a couple, and the guy next to him mentioned a couple more. I was relieved; I would have a place to sleep. I had the loperamide (stops diarrhea), ciprofloxacin (stops bacteria), and doxycycline (prevents malaria) pills in my pocket and coffee in my system. It's a no-brainer -- I was armed and fabulous.
After a plain dinner, I deplaned the plane and walked eagerly to Passport Control. The goal was to pass past Passport Control, but as I learned in London, they have no sense of humor.
"Where is your visa?" the agent asked me. "You don't have a visa? You have to go back." I smiled and said okay; either he was joking or I could call the US Embassy or STA Travel or...
Or my objections wouldn't matter, my questions would be irrelevant, and I would be on the next plane to Amsterdam, leaving an hour after I arrived.
What's worse is that I had to pay for the flight. What's worse is that it was expensive. What's worse is that they played Miss Congeniality 2 on both flights and I couldn't help but feel dumb and dumber for being subjected to something so cruel and unusual. Come on -- Regina King didn't have to wait to the end of the movie to to finally wipe off her sour face. She was in Vegas; her role was never the one back in Amsterdam.