TA - seven months

October 31, 2005

The Starting Line

I peed in the closet. In the closet was a corner I could pee in that was familiar, closer, and safer than the unknown outside of my bedroom door. Known outside of my bedroom door was a bathroom, fully equipped with a toilet, for my unequivocal equipment to unload. Unknown between each door was the sporadic presence of an imagination hosting harrowing recollections of an Unsolved Mysteries episode. I was a boy.

My reflection bounces in ripples off the people I meet and symbiotically we learn about each other. Themes repeat themselves. There is someone living your life and having that same argument with a coworker at the bar. Coercing you to join them. That drunk person drunk to blame a lapse in judgement on a drink that can't defend itself is about to hook up with a convenient conversationalist with the suavest game. I'm somewhere in the mix letting thoughts about themes repeating themselves dance around my head.

Death is the epitome of predictability. Life is the opposite. In the process of one and awareness of the other, our identity and the world are everchanging and approximate representations of each other. I can't say I can pointedly pinpoint who I am, but I do have a better idea than I did when I left on April Fool's. No joke. What they say, whoever they are, about traveling is true: you learn about yourself.

My last stop was Laurel's crib in Puerto Rico before returning to Chapel Hill, NC. She dances. A lot. And she's superb, not just because she's my friend, but because she knows how to shake it. I don't dance physically, but I do dance mentally, and we all dance metaphorically. I have finally left my room and today I return home. But the music has only started playing. May I have this dance?

4 > post a comment

Hey, welcome back! Come visit when things have settled.

Dan Phiffer
October 31, 2005 11:35 PM

thank you dan! a visit is in order.

tevan
November 06, 2005 4:35 PM

Welcome back, dear boy.
What a trip! No pun intended. Do you drop out of sight now, never to be heard from again? What stimulus will there be for this old brain? I have so enjoyed your adventure.
Have you visited the kitties yet? Did they remember you? Not that you could tell anyhow. They have rules, you know.
Kathleen
Greenville, SC
Seat 39-A DET to AMS

Anonymous
November 08, 2005 3:23 PM

kathleen,

thank you for the enjoyment sentence. in response to the trip sentences, a trip it was, pun intended, and the surreality of traveling has been replaced by the surreality of this relatively cushy middle class american life.

balance ran away a couple of months ago. change seemed to remember me, or just like me because I offered attention, but theory wasn't particularly partial to me at first. I reintroduced theory to change yesterday and neither of them remembered each other. in a day or two, though, they'll be brothers again.

do I drop out of sight now? never permanently, but likely temporarily. it's going to take me the rest of this month to take care of the practical bull that allows me to pursue the luxury of thought and time to post the last of the photos. after that, I have to figure how out to reveal the impact of the places I visited and people I met on me. (and people I met off me.)

thank you for your support on this trip literally from day one. if you e-mail me your e-mail (don't post it here), I can e-mail you my contact info. as far as this site goes, like all of us, it will only continue to grow.

tevan (DET to AMS)

tevan
November 08, 2005 6:33 PM